This Poisonous or not so Poisonous Fate
by DarkDefender89
Summary: Role Reversal!Not your normal version of it either,@ first Bella is desperate to cling to the love of her life,who she killed a century ago.Will a human Edward be the one who breaks down her walls.can Bella forget Zack,or will the same thing happen AGAIN
1. To Fall Apart

**AU:** Bella is the vamp, Edward is the human. The other Cullens are vamps too; however, Bella doesn't know about them, or their lifestyle. It will be E/B eventually!!! Be patient, and endure some of the dark themes/forbidden relationships!

**The Other Way Around**

**Ch.1**

There was a time, centuries ago, when I knew what it was like to be in love. I can no longer taste the feeling; long ago I was lost to society and they faded all around me. I used to have a sister. I used to have a brother. I cannot describe, in words, my feelings for Zack. He was my brother. I knew that it was dark. I knew that it was wrong. But he claimed to love me so, and how could I object to the sweet innocence singing in his eyes? I remember warning him it wouldn't end well. Our parents would find out, or our sister, but the connection (or whatever it was) was too strong.

I try to tell myself that it wasn't my fault that he seduced me. That it wasn't my fault we spent hours in the forest, kissing with a passion none of you would even be able to comprehend. It felt so real, and it felt so beautiful. For the first time in my life, I was _alive_, and truly alive. We used protection, of course. I didn't get pregnant; I wasn't that stupid. We were careful. We had always had such a strong connection, that no one would ever think twice of us spending all of our time together.

I might have fallen in love with him; I might not have. It may have been just lust. No. Even now, I cannot delude myself into believing that. Did I tell you that we were twins? Zack was my second half. Maybe we misinterpreted our destiny, but then again, destiny…or fate…sure does have a way of deceiving its victims. I wasn't any different; after all, I was just _human_. At the time, I thought that was all there was. _Human_. I was wrong, so wrong.

I try to tell myself that it wasn't my fault that Daddy dearest caught us, and tried to murder me. Well, he tried to murder Zack, but silly me – I couldn't live without him – I stepped in front of Zack, protecting him with my life. I don't think "daddy" wanted to hurt me, but, nonetheless, I was, probably, fatally wounded. Probably ashamed, he left me lying there in the forest, forgetting all about the rage that drove him to slaughter his own children – his rebellious children, yes, but _his own_ children nonetheless.

I didn't see what was coming next. There was so much blood, that's all I know. I must have been dreaming, because I saw this pale beautiful god walk towards me, bend down, and bite me. But the pain told me I wasn't dreaming. It burned. I was on fire; it felt exactly like the passion that existed between Zack and I when we were breaking God's laws. I thought that God was punishing me. That my father had killed me, and _this_ was **hell**. I saw the pale figure run away.

The burning lasted forever, but when I awoke my senses were so much clearer. The leaves on the trees had never looked so beautiful. I looked at my hands. They were paper white. I took in my surroundings. I tried to remember what had happened. Jumping in front of a monster that tried to kill the love of my life. Images of the past: my parents fighting; brown cardboard boxes piled in a new garage; a backyard so tiny , a house picked out by my father for our family against my mother's will; a hotel; the multiple times my mother threatened to kill herself – and me, despite of it all, or, rather, in the middle of it all, immersed in my own dirty little clandestine relationship. Twincest, Zack and I had called it. And then, the past was shady. I could see it, but there was a slimy filter over it, blocking my senses from fully comprehending everything. And then, a scent that was so overpowering…so strong, so potent, and I knew, right then and there , that I had to have it. I didn't know what I was yet; I was a slave to my instincts. I found myself pouncing on something, something that felt weak in my strong arms, that was lying on the ground, unconscious. I found myself sinking my teeth into someone's flesh, draining him dry.

Had I just drank blood? What the hell happened to me? Trembling, I sank to the ground and stared at the person I had killed, and I saw the love of my life, Zack, dead. He would never wake up. I had killed him. I had finished daddy dearest's job; I had murdered my very own brother. All of my thoughts of our relationship faded, and I remembered in panic who Zack was to me before we started having sex; before we started wandering the forest together singing our painfully beautiful forbidden song. Images of Zack and I as toddlers, sitting at the off-white table coloring; images of Zack and I at the literary convention, discussing the stories we had written with peers that we would never really get to know. Images of Zack and I jogging together; images of Zack and I training together at the karate dojo. Images. So many images. For so many years, they haunted me. I am responsible for Zack's death. My own death, too, because, technically, I am dead.

I never found out what happened to my father; if he was ever caught for trying to kill me. Maybe they – my parents, my friends, the world, whoever - thought that Zack and I ran away together. If only fate could be so kind. But no, fate was cruel, and I was cruel to. I figured out what I was, and I tried to abstain from blood, believe me, I did. I went for months, starving and weak. Eventually I had to give in. I'm weak, I know that, and I'm sorry. I didn't have the will power to destroy myself. I thought I couldn't live without Zack, that he was my other half – my life force, but somehow, I went on. Somehow, I survived. I don't know how, but I got over Zack. Maybe it was because he was dead, and nobody else could have him. Or maybe it was just because I had to. Eternity, whether I wanted it or not, was mine.

I still needed blood, though. I was a horrible monster. My senses were my cage, most of the time. I wasn't wild, though. I didn't deserve that. I always went long periods where I starved myself, denying my own nature. After my starvation, I was so weak, and I needed blood. I couldn't help it; I became a monster.

My name is Bella, by the way. Nobody calls me that, though, because nobody is close enough to me. I am a loner, a nomad. I live off the blood of serial killers and mass-rapists. But it would be deluding myself to think I was doing the world a favor. Saving innocent girls, playing the hero. I was no hero. Sure, I stopped murderers, but then again, I murdered too, so what was the point? Sometimes, the blood was too much, and I ended up draining their prey, too. It didn't happen all of the times, but it happened enough times to haunt me.

My rage was a pretty good mask. I hid from my darkest, most sinister thoughts. I hid from my solitude and my desperation. I hid from my flaws. I hid from myself, and, slowly, I lost myself. There were times I forgot my name, but it always came back to me. _Bella. Bella. Bella._ I tasted the sound of the person I used to be on my tongue. It was bittersweet, like I almost wanted to take her back – remember her dreams, her aspirations, her family. _As if I could._

Centuries flew by me. I felt the need for civilization. I needed to work, and I needed to write. I remember that when I was human I had loved to write, and now my senses were so much stronger. So I wrote. Slowly, I tamed myself. I still lived off humans; at the time, I didn't know there was any other way. But I learned to control myself, and to feed only when necessary, and far away from home. Yes, I made a home for myself. I had to, or else I would lose the sanity I already lost. If that even makes any sense, but it was the only thing I could hold onto: that I had already lost my sanity, so I couldn't lose it again. I got a job at a local newspaper (wearing brown contact lenses, of course), and made money. Years later, I moved out of town, buying myself a small apartment in a small town in Washington.

Since I was forever eighteen, I registered for high school. I found myself to be a junior at Forks High school. If only I knew…If only I had known that fate had plans for me here, I never would have come. When I entered the door to that fated school building, my senses told me three things for certain: one, there were other vampires here – a lot of them; two, there was something different about them; and…as for the third thing, well, I found that one out later.

Should I leave? This was already their territory, I knew that. No, I had a right to be here. I walked into the front office and introduced myself to the office lady. "Hello, my name is Isabella Swan"

"Yes, yes, you must be the new student," she said. _'She looks just like the Cullens!'_ she thought. Oh, did I forget to tell you? Once I started associating with humans, I realized that I could read minds. I can also move objects with my mind. I'm a freak even when it comes to freaks – a telekinetic telepath. Big whoop; I for one, did not care. It just gave me another reason to hate myself.

So the Cullens are the other vampires, then? If I looked "just like them", then they must be. Sighing, I walked to my first class, English Literature. 'This should be easy,' I thought. 'Just hold your breath.'

"Hi, I'm Mike, you're the new girl, want me to show you around?" a silly human boy asked me in the hall on the way to my class.

"Shut up," I scowled, walking past him without even looking at him. He was nothing to me. Later that day, several other boys tried to talk sweet to them. I didn't listen; I didn't let my protective wall to crumble around me, because it wasn't there to protect me – it was there to protect them.

At lunch I met the Cullens. "I know what you are," I whispered. "Don't worry, though. I am too."

I figured, just be straight forward. Solve any problems before they arise. I didn't know that they were expecting me, though.

"Hi Bella, I'm Alice!" a hyper, dark haired pixie squealed. "I saw you coming! This is great! We so need to go shopping!!!"

"What?" Bella asked confused.

"She's psychic," the boy clinging to her, who I later found out was Jasper, explained. "She had a vision that you would come."

"Oh," Bella said. "Well, that explains why you guys expected me. But it doesn't explain why shopping, of all things, is the first thing she'd think of."

"Shopping is the _only_ thing she thinks of," Emmet teased Alice, laughing.

Maybe, just maybe, I thought, I could get along with this…coven...no, coven wasn't the right word. The Cullens were a family, I could already tell. Three hundred years was a long enough time to mourn for your own family, I reasoned with myself. It was time to let bygones be bygones. I smiled.

"So, do you have a coven?" Alice asked.

"No, I'm a nomad,"I said.

"Stay with us then! Stay with us!" Alice said, excited.

"Um, okay then," I said.

"Wait!" Rosalie said, at a decibel level that only vampires could hear. "What's your diet?"

Again, at a decibel level that only vampires could here, I said, "Um…blood?" I wondered why they had asked such a silly question.

"No, I mean, what kind? Do you drink from animals?" Rosalie asked.

"Animals?" I asked, a little bit shocked. "That's even possible?"

**To Be Continued…a**


	2. It All Comes Back In Songs We Reivent

_Parasite_

_Your blood runs in my veins_

_Illusion of power_

_Poetic _

_Mystery_

_Poison sleep waits for_

_You at the end of this illuminated tunnel_

_So many bodies piled on these stones_

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**Ch2**

"_Wait!" Rosalie said, at a decibel level that only vampires could hear. "What's your diet?"_

_Again, at a decibel level that only vampires could here, I said, "Um…blood?" I wondered why they had asked such a silly question._

"_No, I mean, what kind? Do you drink from animals?" Rosalie asked._

"_Animals?" I asked, a little bit shocked. "That's even possible?"_

"Of course it's possible," Rosalie says, sounding disgusted. I could feel her disgust.

Animals. Of course. Why hadn't I thought of this before? 'Probably because you were too preoccupied with your brother and your self-hatred,' a voice inside my head told me.

"Don't worry," I say. "I can change."

"Do you want to?" Alice asks

"Of course!" I said. I hate being a monster. I already know how to control my bloodlust – just because I drink from humans doesn't mean I don't know how to stop myself. Like I said, I have starved myself before. I figured out that, even after going almost six months without feeding, I could never die. It was agony, of course, but it was agony I deserved simply for being the despicable thing that I am.

"Alright then," Alice says. "It's settled. You're staying with us."

None of us noticed the green-eyed boy staring at our table with such a blinding intensity. No one, of course, except for Alice. She could see the future. Some secrets stay buried, for a certain amount of time, and cannot be awoken. It would have been futile, to try to decipher the paralyzed sparkle in Alice Cullen's golden eyes. What the future held, would come to pass, all in good time.

Next period is biology. When I arrive in the classroom, the only empty seat was next to a green-eyed boy with bronze hair. His scent is the most delicious thing I have ever smelt, but something tells me to resist. There is something about him, besides his scent, that I find fascinating. I cannot exactly put a finger on it. I am afraid of the invisible lines that my unconscious seems to be pushing me towards. One part of me is determining the best way to kill this beautiful…wait, did I just think 'beautiful'?...boy, while the other part is…I don't know. Mesmerized, trapped. I remind myself of everything that went wrong years and years ago. I remind myself of Zack and I instantly remember that before I fell in love with him, when Zack first kissed me, I thought the idea was crazy. Now here I am. Here I am and what the hell am I thinking? I just met this boy.

My body goes rigid and I shift as far away from him as possible. Partly, it's because I don't want to kill anymore humans than I have to. And I don't have to kill humans anymore. His scent is mouthwatering. I have to control myself. I have to…

But even that is not the main reason. I can't let anyone else inside the walls I built around my dead, motionless heart after Zack died…after I _killed_ Zack. After my dad attempted to murder me. To be hurt again, to feel the agonizing pain tear my heart in shreds…to feel such a pain for an _eternity_ and more…the thought is unbearable. I haven't healed yet. Every day I pray that at least Zack is in heaven. But no, twincest…plain incest…is the blackest of all sins…NO, what we felt was pure, I cannot, I REFUSE, to believe that it was not destiny, that we were not bound together as one, but then…everything collapsed. No. I cannot believe that what Zack and I did was wrong. Even if it wasn't destiny, even if he was my lover and not my soul mate, Zack never hurt a fly. Zack is in heaven right now; of that fact, I am absolutely certain.

I am destined to be with Zack. Zack is dead. Therefore, I am destined to be alone forever. I glare at the boy. The teacher called on him; I find out that his name is Edward. I glare at Edward. I want to kill him; I want to drink his luscious blood; but also I want to kiss him. I feel so guilty that I could ever think about kissing anyone other than Zack. I hate myself. This Edward person will be the death of me. But no, I can never die. I will be the death of him. (No pun intended).

"Do you hate me?" Edward asks.

I stare into his green eyes. How can a mere human dazzle me like that? How is this possible?

"Yes," I say, but my voice said otherwise.

The bell rings. I run out of my seat as fast as I can. Well, not as fast as I can, but as fast as humanly possible.

Once school lets out, I go to the front office to try to switch my schedule around so I don't have biology with Edward, but the attempt is futile. I am stuck.

"Fine. I guess I'll just have to endure it," I say as I stomp out of the front office. Just as Edward is entering the office. What a coincidence.

Oh, fate. Kill me now.

**To Be Continued…**

**A/N: sorry it's so short! Please forgive me! And please REVIEW! Reviews = inspiration for me to write. The more reviews I get, the sooner I'll update, and the longer the chapters will be! :DDDDD**


	3. Life Story Say WHAT?

**Ch3**

I didn't want to leave, not after all that I started and the Cullens accepted me. NO ONE had ever accepted me before. But Edward's blood sang to me, and I definitely did not want to ruin what the Cullens had set up here. Could I resist? I could deal with the pain – the burning in my throat whenever I was around him. I didn't mind pain; actually, because of Zack, I deserved pain. I would just try to avoid Edward as much as possible, which was hard since he is in my biology class and SITS NEXT TO ME.

That Alice girl sees the future. Maybe I should ask her to check to see what will happen if I stay. But then everyone will know that it's not as easy as I thought for me to switch to the Cullens' "vegetarian" diet. And maybe they wouldn't let me stay. Surely, they would hate me, well, maybe not hate me, but I wouldn't blame them for not wanting me to mess up the perfect life they have set up for themselves here in Forks, Washington.

I decided that I would stay. I would live with the Cullens, just like they suggested. Just then my phone rang.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hi! Yay! You decided to stay! You can move in today, if you like!" It was Alice. What has she seen?

"What did you see?" I ask, a little bit afraid of the answer.

"Nothing bad; don't worry!" Alice said. "I'll tell you later. It's better if it's a surprise, if it happens the way it's supposed to."

"Whatever," I say, but I am giggling. This Alice girl has put me in a lighter mood than I have been in centuries.

"So, when are you moving in?" Alice asked.

"Don't you know?" I countered.

"Well, yes…" Alice said.

"K," I said. "See you then!"

"Bye!" Alice squealed. "I can't wait to take you shopping!"

Ugh. Shopping.

"Bye, Alice," I said, making it clear that I was _not_ interested in shopping. But, I guess I would tag along if she forced me to. I have been alone for so long; it is just so much of a relief to finally have someone to tell my life story to.

Wait a minute…tell my life story? I was NOT that close to any of the Cullens, and I DEFINITELY was NOT ABOUT TO give away my secrets and my pain that it took me centuries to bury; that it took me centuries to get to this point. No way. I will not open the wound again.

I don't have any belongings with me, not many at least, so I put some clothes and my leather journals in my red handbag and run over the Cullens' house.

This guarantees to be _very_ interesting…

**To Be Continued…**

**Sorry it's so short, but I'll update soon if I get 15 reviews! K? Thanks so much in advance! :DDDDDDDD**


	4. Alice in Cullenland

**A/N: So, here the next chapter is! Sorry it took me so long to update, but as some of you may be able to tell, I have several stories started. Maybe not a good idea, but I love writing too much…**

**So, here it is. Enjoy! :DDDDDDDD**

**Ch4**

So I was moving in with the Cullens. It couldn't be that bad of a thing to do, right? I didn't have to let go of my wall. It won't just go tumbling down, just like that. I know who I am. Maybe it's wrong that I cling to my past. I am still haunted it, I know, and there were times in the past that it made me go crazy. Sometimes I swear Zack's ghost comes back to haunt me. He whispers to me sometimes, and I hear his voice – I know it is an illusion, but I can't help it. I know I said the main reason I starve myself sometimes is because I felt guilty for killing Zack, but it's also because when I do something _dangerous_ like that, I hear Zack's voice. When I starve myself, I hear his velvety voice telling me that he was proud of me for trying to deny my nature, though, but if I did anything else dangerous (which was hard, seeing as I am a vampire), he would scold me. It doesn't happen that much anymore. Mostly, I am over it. I don't crave his voice anymore. I don't _need _him the way I used to.

But what if the same thing happens with Edward? I feel this strong attraction towards him, and I hate that fact. Only two things could possibly happen: he will run away, afraid of me. He will leave me, and that would destroy me. But for Edward's safety, I don't care if it destroys me. I don't even want to think about the other possibility. That is, that I end up accidentally killing Edward.

I rang the doorbell to the Cullens' elegant white house and I was greeted by a perky Alice. I heard Rosalie complaining about how this was a bad idea – she thought that since I just newly decided to be a vegetarian, I would screw up. As long as I avoid Edward, though, that's not going to happen. Rosalie has no _clue_ how much control I have over my own mind, my own body. One time I was actually able to go for almost a month without feeding once…and yeah, it felt like hell, but I was able to do it. So switching to animals shouldn't be that hard.

"You don't have to worry, Rosalie," I assured her. "I won't screw up."

"How can you know that _now_?" Rosalie asked.

"Its fine, Rosalie. Calm down. I don't see her screwing up," Alice said.

"The future can change," Rosalie scoffed.

"Ignore her," Alice said, taking my hand. It felt strange for someone to actually care about me, to consider me a friend, to defend me. I wasn't sure if I liked it. I could screw up very easily, not the way Rosalie thought I would, not in the vampire sort of way, but I could. I wasn't good at relationships and if Rosalie decided to hate me it wouldn't be very hard for me to return the feelings. "Let me show you your room," Alice continued.

I faked a smile and followed Alice up the stairs. The truth was, I was afraid of letting people in. I didn't _want_ to be rude and obnoxious, but I also didn't want to be hurt again. I could trust Alice, right? It felt like I could, but I didn't quite trust _myself_. After all, the first thing I did when I woke up as a vampire was slaughter my own brother, forgetting the fact that not only was he my brother, but I was _in love with him_. How can a person kill someone she is in love with? A person can't. Only a monster can. I am a monster. Not to mention, my power makes me even more of a monster. I have a strong version of telekinesis, and can also control the elements because of it. In other words, if I wanted to, I could turn a tree into ice. Most of the times I just ignored my ability, but there have been times when it got out of hand.

I didn't even realize we had stopped and entered a small room when Alice asked, "So? Do you like it?"

I absentmindedly nodded my head. "Yeah," I said, nonchalantly.

"So can I take you shopping?! Please? You need furniture for your room, not to mention clothes for your closet…." She started.

I cut her off. "I have clothes…"

"Not enough. And probably not to my standard. Come on, let's go," Alice said, giggling.

I groaned. I didn't have to go shopping, so why did I feel inclined to go with Alice? I don't need a sister; I already lost a brother years ago. But it's time to let go of myself, of everything I have held inside of me for so long, and go spiraling downwards, freefalling – with no clue of how or where or when I was going to land.

"Fine," I said.

Alice grinned what I could already tell was her famous crooked grin, and I couldn't help but smile. It had been a long time since I had had a friend, much less a sister. A part of me welcomed this.

"Are you really going to go out wearing _that_?!" Alice asked, complaining about my plain blue jeans and my loose black T-shirt. I shrugged. I only brought jeans and T-shirts. I didn't really care about fashion – usually, more important worries (like Zack, and now Edward) plagued my mind.

"I don't think I have anything that you'd like," I said, grinning.

Alice grabbed my arm and dragged me to her room and placed me on her bed while she pranced over to her closet. She opened her closet, which was the same size as – if not bigger than – her room. Wow. I had never seen that many dresses, jeans, shirts, skirts, high-heeled shoes, et cetera. Alice was probably pleased that I was roughly the same size as her. Any pair of jeans she had would probably be too short, but other than that, they would fit perfectly. Alice walked out of her closet carrying a bunch of high-style clothes in her arms and her graceful walk could have easily been mistaken for dancing.

She handed me a pair of faded black Capri's, a short, velvet black skirt, and a pink shirt with a V-neck.

"I'm not wearing _that_," I protested. Sure, the Capri's would fit, but would they be comfortable? Are jeans EVER comfortable? NO, they aren't. But Alice insisted.

"Please…" Alice said, making a puppy-dog face (A/N: I just had to put that in!).

"Fine," I said, grabbing the clothes Alice wanted me to wear and walked into Alice's bathroom. When I walked out wearing Alice's ridiculous outfit (which, looking in the mirror, I had to admit actually looked good on me, but _so what_), she sauntered over to me and said, "Now for the make-up…"

I interrupted her. She could take me shopping, but right now I was definitely _not_ in the mood to be her Barbie-doll. "No make-up," I insisted.

"Fine," Alice said, growling.

And then we walked downstairs and got into Alice's car. Time to shop.

**To Be Continued…**

_Thanks for everyone who has been reading this! It is fun to write it and I hope you are enjoying it. So. No next chapter until 10 more reviews. I don't usually do this, but it seems necessary. Don't worry, though, I have faith in you guys! (=_

_Lots of love,_

_~Calliope-Elizabeth_


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